Season 8 Episode 16: How Green Was My Apple
February 6, 1994
An apple tree sits near the property line, and both households want it. What begins as a dispute over fruit escalates into a full survey of the boundary and then into a dispute over everything around both houses, which is the correct trajectory for a quarrel between these two families. Al reads up on cultivation from Farmer Iggy’s Almanac, the same volume he consulted in season five’s “Wabbit Season” when he took up farming in the back yard.
The escalation is the point, and the episode is unusually thorough about documenting it. A land surveyor is engaged, and his findings are not flattering: the Bundy property was originally used by Native Americans as a landfill for rotting moccasins. Al also reveals that the back fence, the structure the entire dispute depends on, was built by Peggy and built badly.
Gary Coleman, Danny Bonaduce and Dave Madden all guest, which gives the episode an unusually high concentration of 1970s sitcom alumni for a show that generally cast from its own era.
The original broadcast let the final scene run under the credits, with Jefferson and Al still wrestling on the ground over the apple and Buck eventually intervening. The Mill Creek DVD replaces it with a still frame over “Love and Marriage,” though the full scene was restored for streaming and later syndication prints. Al also mentions a recent double homicide in the neighbourhood, delivered as a property-values observation rather than a concern.
The apple itself is almost irrelevant by the final act, which is the joke the half-hour is built on. Neither household wants fruit; both want to have won, and the series had eight years of evidence that this is the only currency either side recognises. Nobody concedes anything, the boundary remains disputed, and the tree is still there.
Episode Facts
- Original air date: February 6, 1994
- Season 8, Episode 16, and the 173rd episode of the series
- Written by Katherine Green
- Directed by Gerry Cohen
Guest Cast
- Gary Coleman as the building inspector
- Danny Bonaduce as the land surveyor
- Dave Madden as the surveyor’s manager
- Joni Allen as the girl
One Apple, Total War
Al has been growing a single apple in the backyard all season. It goes missing, he calls the police to report a serial harvester, and Jefferson walks in eating it. From there the two households escalate into a property war over who owns the tree and then over the land itself, long after the apple has been digested. Jefferson cuts the Bundys’ cable, Al cuts the D’Arcys’ phone line, Al jacks up his own house, and Jefferson calls a friend about a rocket launcher.
The casting is the real event. Danny Bonaduce plays the surveyor and Dave Madden plays his manager, which is Danny Partridge and Reuben Kincaid in the same scene. Bonaduce denies being Danny Partridge, then picks up a bass case on the way out while Madden tells him “Come on, get happy” about a gig in Pittsburgh, and they leave in a psychedelic bus.
Gary Coleman does the same trick as the inspector: denies being Gary Coleman, glares when Kelly says she hated the show, and finally gives himself away with “What’chu talkin’ bout, Bundy?!” He returned in season 10’s The Joke’s on Al.
Famous Quotes
- Al: “Peg! My apple’s gone! This neighborhood is going to hell!” The inciting incident.
- Al: “I think there is a serial harvester at work here!” Al, to the police.
- Kelly: “Are you sure you’re not Gary Coleman from Diff’rent Strokes?” … “Good. I hated that show.” Kelly, twice.
- Inspector: “Aw, hell! Now I have to fine myself.” The inspector, after losing his temper.
Notes
- Al’s crack about Ted Danson has a long tail: Ed O’Neill auditioned for Sam Malone on Cheers in 1982 and lost the part to Danson.
- In the original broadcast the credits continued the Al and Jefferson wrestling scene, with Buck stealing the apple and saying “I grew it, I’ll eat it!” One DVD release replaced that with a still frame, and streaming prints restore it.
- Al reads Farmer Iggy’s Almanac, first mentioned in season 5’s “Wabbit Season.”
- The Mayor McCheese joke repeats one from The Godfather.
- The surveyor reports that the Bundy lot was originally a landfill for rotting moccasins.
- Al reveals Peggy built the backyard fence, badly.
- Goof: Al cuts the D’Arcys’ phone line, and Jefferson then uses the telephone to call about the rocket launcher.
