Posts by David Faustino

Peggy narrates her own pirate fantasy to Seven as a bedtime story. In the story, Peggy plays Princess Scarlett. Al is Captain Courage, her pirate captor and Jefferson is Prince Paco, her savior. Rounding out the cast is Bud playing the hunchback first mate Fluvio; Kelly as the dim-witted ship’s navigator; Marcy playing the cabin…

After one too many dateless Saturdays, Bud appears on a new TV dating game show called “You Can’t Miss” for the less experienced, but not quite with the expected results. Meanwhile, the low IQ Kelly believes that there’s a conspiracy to keep her from knowing what day it is.

Peggy decides to take up a hobby by drawing Al and in so doing, creates her own magazine cartoon of Al makes him famous: the hapless shoe salesman titled “Mr. Empty Pants”. Al would prefer the fame to be fleeting, until another magazine (Playgirl) declares him to be a sex symbol.

Working at the diner is getting to Kelly, so she decides to rebel by getting a motorcycle which Peggy deems as too dangerous, until Peggy tries it for herself and gets some good vibrations. But it’s Al who really takes to the new bike and imagines himself as an “easy rider,”… at least until an…

It’s no vacation for Al when Peggy and Marcy join him on his winter fishing trip and make him referee to their constant bickering. Meanwhile, Kelly, Bud and Seven, left behind with no food or money, help Jefferson spend all of Marcy’s money.

The Bundys are going to a family wedding for Al’s cousin. But Peggy can’t decide what to wear, so while she dresses (and redresses) Al waits and daydreams. Meanwhile, Kelly color coordinates with two fellow bridesmaids, deciding that tight black leather is always best, and Bud gets to know the young bride to be much…

In the company of his peers at a bar with other Santas, mall Santa Al recalls Christmases past when he managed to avoid getting gifts to Peggy, Kelly, and Bud by turning them against each other (shown in a pseudo flashback to 1974). But this year the family shows a united front when they give…

Thanks to a college grant of $25,000, Bud is ready to leave home and start the good life at college, until Al and Peggy discover the money. Being the selfish petty criminals they are, they grant the money for themselves, and go on a wild spending spree in just one day that leaves Bud with…

When Al’s favorite movie character dies, Al buys the plot next to him for his own eternal home. But Peggy wants to be buried next to Al and will do anything to spend her life after death with him.

When his paycheck is taken by bill collectors, Al decides to do something with his non-life: he enters a shoe selling contest and wins. The prize is a first class ticket to Hawaii which the family turns into four stand-by’s. After dumping Seven off with the D’Arcys, the Bundys travel to Chicago’s O’Hare Airport where…